A Message for Church Leaders from Colossians 3:13
Church leaders, the people entrusted to your care need more than sound instruction, careful organization, and a clear vision for ministry. They need to see what the grace of Jesus Christ looks like when relationships become difficult. They need shepherds who can speak truth without contempt, address failure without cruelty, and carry responsibility without allowing resentment to harden their hearts. Colossians 3:13 brings this calling into focus: “Bear with one another and forgive any complaint you may have against someone else. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.”
These words speak directly into the ordinary pressures of church leadership. Wherever people worship, serve, and make decisions together, misunderstandings arise. Expectations remain unspoken. Words wound. Promises are forgotten. Sometimes disagreements reflect differences in judgment; sometimes they reveal genuine sin. The question is not whether your congregation will encounter relational strain, but whether its leaders will respond in ways that reflect the Lord whose name it bears. Your response helps establish the spiritual character of the community.
Paul places this command within the larger reality of life in Christ. Earlier in Colossians 3, believers are described as having been raised with Christ and called to put away the practices belonging to their former life. They are putting on the new self, which is being renewed in the image of its Creator. Forgiveness, therefore, belongs to the visible expression of a transformed identity. It is part of what happens when the life of Jesus reshapes the life of His people.
Immediately before this verse, Paul addresses believers as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, and calls them to compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. This order matters deeply for leaders. You do not become loved by God through flawless ministry or perfect relationships. You minister as someone who has already received His love in Christ. The security of that grace makes it possible to admit weakness, surrender defensiveness, and extend mercy without fearing that humility will diminish your worth.
“Bear with one another” acknowledges that Christian community requires patience. Even sincere believers remain unfinished people. They differ in temperament, maturity, background, and ability. Some speak too quickly; others struggle to express themselves at all. Some need repeated encouragement. Others carry habits that change slowly. Bearing with one another means making room for the patient work of God in people whose growth does not follow your preferred schedule.
For church leaders, this patience must extend beyond those who are easy to appreciate. It is natural to enjoy working with people who understand your intentions, affirm your decisions, and share your priorities. The deeper test comes when someone repeatedly misunderstands you, questions your judgment, or requires more attention than you anticipated. Such people must never become mere interruptions to your ministry. They are people within the ministry Christ has entrusted to you, deserving thoughtful care even when that care is demanding.
Patience also requires discernment about what actually needs correction. Not every irritation is a moral failure. A different communication style is not necessarily disrespect. A question is not automatically rebellion. Disagreement over a ministry decision does not prove spiritual immaturity. Leaders can damage relationships when they give their preferences the weight of divine commands. Humility helps you distinguish between a challenge to biblical truth and a challenge to your own expectations.
Paul then moves from bearing with one another to forgiving one another. Some difficulties cannot be described merely as differences of personality. There are actual wrongs to acknowledge: careless accusations, broken confidences, manipulation, dishonesty, and words deliberately spoken to hurt. Forgiveness does not require pretending that these things are harmless. It takes wrongdoing seriously while refusing to make personal vengeance the governing purpose of the response. It entrusts judgment to God and seeks a course shaped by truth and mercy.
The phrase “any complaint you may have against someone else” brings the command close to home. Leaders can carry grievances quietly while continuing to preach, counsel, and lead meetings. Outward ministry may remain active while inward bitterness grows. A remembered insult begins to influence decisions. A difficult person receives less care. Someone’s suggestion is dismissed because of an earlier conflict. When resentment remains unexamined, it can gradually shape ministry practices that appear reasonable but are driven by unresolved hurt.
Therefore, attend carefully to the relationship between your wounds and your authority. Leadership provides opportunities to punish people indirectly. A person can be excluded, ignored, publicly embarrassed, or described unfairly under the language of protecting the ministry. Resist every temptation to use spiritual responsibility as a means of settling personal accounts. The authority Christ gives His servants is for building up His people. It must remain accountable to His character, especially when you have been wronged.
The foundation of Paul’s command is unmistakable: “Forgive as the Lord forgave you.” Christian forgiveness begins with remembering the mercy received through Jesus Christ. You stand before God because the Savior has acted graciously on your behalf. Your standing does not rest on the number of years you have served, the sermons you have preached, or the sacrifices you have made. Like every believer you lead, you depend entirely on the grace of the crucified and risen Lord.
At the cross, the seriousness of sin and the greatness of divine love meet. God’s forgiveness is never indifference toward evil. Christ’s suffering reveals how deeply sin matters, while His willing self-giving reveals the depth of the mercy extended to sinners. This keeps Christian leaders from treating forgiveness as either shallow politeness or moral carelessness. The grace that reconciles people to God also calls them into a changed life.
Remembering this grace dismantles spiritual superiority. It becomes harder to regard someone else’s failure with contempt when you remember your own dependence on mercy. This does not erase differences in responsibility or remove the need for correction. It changes the spirit in which correction is offered. A leader who remembers being forgiven can confront sin with seriousness while still recognizing the humanity of the person before them. The aim becomes repentance, healing, and faithfulness rather than humiliation.
You must also be willing to ask for the forgiveness you teach others to extend. Church leaders sometimes speak readily about general human weakness while struggling to name their own specific failures. Yet a clear confession can serve the congregation more faithfully than a carefully defended reputation. When you have spoken harshly, misrepresented someone, acted unfairly, or failed to listen, acknowledge what happened plainly. Avoid apologies that shift responsibility onto the person who was hurt.
An honest apology names the wrong, recognizes its impact, and accepts the need for change. It does not demand immediate reassurance or pressure the other person to restore trust quickly. Your willingness to take responsibility teaches the church that repentance belongs within leadership itself. It also demonstrates that the gospel is strong enough to sustain truthful confession. You do not need to appear beyond correction in order to serve faithfully; you need to remain teachable before God and His people.
At the same time, forgiveness must never become a tool for silencing those who have suffered harm. Colossians 3:13 does not authorize leaders to pressure vulnerable people into secrecy, continued exposure to danger, or premature reconciliation. Where abuse or serious misconduct has occurred, protection and appropriate accountability are essential. A church that calls wounded people to forgive while shielding those who harm them has misunderstood the character of Christ’s mercy.
Forgiveness, reconciliation, and restored trust are closely related, but they should not be treated as identical. Reconciliation involves truth and a mutual movement toward restored relationship. Trust ordinarily grows through demonstrated faithfulness over time. A forgiven person may still face consequences, and forgiveness does not automatically restore someone to a position of leadership. A congregation can extend sincere compassion while recognizing that a particular responsibility should no longer be entrusted to that person.
This distinction helps leaders practice both mercy and wisdom. You may relinquish retaliation while maintaining necessary boundaries. You may pray for someone’s restoration while supporting a careful investigation of their conduct. You may desire their spiritual good while acknowledging that contact must remain limited. The pattern of Christ’s forgiveness calls you away from hatred; it does not require abandoning your responsibility to protect the flock or tell the truth.
In everyday conflicts, pursue direct and gracious conversation whenever appropriate. Many divisions deepen because people discuss grievances with everyone except the person involved. Leaders have a particular responsibility to resist this pattern. Before repeating a troubling report, establish what is known. Before assigning motives, listen. Before responding publicly, consider whether a private conversation could clarify the matter. Patient inquiry often reveals that a painful situation is more complicated than the first account suggested.
When a difficult conversation is needed, prepare your heart as carefully as your words. Ask God to expose exaggeration, pride, and the desire to win. Describe the concern honestly without claiming knowledge of another person’s hidden intentions. Listen long enough to understand their account. Make room for the possibility that you have misunderstood something or contributed to the conflict. A gentle manner does not weaken truthful speech; it helps truth be heard without unnecessary injury.
These practices should shape relationships among leaders as well as relationships with the congregation. A leadership team cannot credibly commend unity while privately nurturing rivalry. Pastors, elders, deacons, and ministry directors need freedom to disagree without becoming enemies. They need habits of prayer, candid conversation, and mutual correction. When tensions emerge, address them before they become settled loyalties and opposing camps. Shared service requires more than agreement about tasks; it requires a continuing commitment to love one another.
Be especially careful with criticism. Some criticism will be unfair, and some will be expressed poorly. Yet an unhelpful tone does not necessarily mean there is nothing true to hear. Consider the substance before dismissing the speaker. Where correction is needed, receive it. Where an accusation is false, respond truthfully and proportionately. You do not need to answer every insult, but neither must you allow damaging falsehoods to go unaddressed. Seek the church’s good rather than the satisfaction of personal vindication.
The work of forgiveness may also unfold over time. A sincere decision to surrender retaliation does not always remove grief or anger immediately. Memories can return, particularly when a wound was deep or repeated. Do not confuse the continuing experience of pain with a refusal to forgive. Bring those struggles before the Lord, seek wise support, and continue choosing responses consistent with His mercy. Spiritual maturity includes learning to handle pain faithfully rather than pretending it no longer exists.
Church leaders need relationships in which their own burdens can be addressed honestly. Isolation makes resentment harder to recognize and easier to justify. Seek trusted people who can listen compassionately without merely confirming your grievances. Allow them to question your interpretation, challenge harsh judgments, and remind you of Christ. Receiving such care is part of responsible leadership. Those who carry the burdens of others also need the sustaining ministry of the body of Christ.
Over time, the mercy practiced by leaders helps form the congregation’s habits. When leaders listen carefully, confession becomes less frightening. When they apologize honestly, repentance becomes more visible. When they uphold accountability without contempt, discipline becomes more clearly connected to restoration and protection. When they refuse gossip and retaliation, people learn that conflict can be addressed without destroying one another. These ordinary choices give practical expression to the gospel proclaimed from the pulpit.
Church leaders, keep returning to the words that anchor this calling: “Forgive as the Lord forgave you.” Bring your authority, disappointments, difficult conversations, and unfinished relationships beneath the mercy of Christ. Lead with the humility of someone who has been forgiven and the courage of someone responsible for the care of others. Bear patiently with weakness. Confront wrongdoing truthfully. Seek reconciliation wisely. Let the grace you have received shape the grace you extend, so that the people entrusted to you may see, in your leadership, a faithful reflection of their merciful Lord.
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